My dreams lately have been like extensions of my waking life, but they have delved into areas that I don’t have time to think about these days. It seems I hardly have time for anything but work right now.
I had a dream early this morning where we were getting ready to go on a long road trip with a bunch of friends. Our van got checked out by my friend Kendall, and during the tune up the engine overheated and was determined to be shot. Ummmm, daaaang… So the next I know I am at an old boyfriend’s mom’s place in California, and all our friends, who we are to venture off on this epic trip with, are there. I went to use the bathroom and realized I didn’t have my purse. Geez, I am on a big trip and didn’t even bring my purse?? OK whatever, I will work it out… but then I began to realize, I also forgot to bring clothes, and well, I didn’t even pack or prepare at all! (How did I even get here?) It was then that it came clear to me that I had been so busy, how could I ever have had time to prepare for, or even think about, a trip. What am I even doing on this trip!!?? I started to panic a little, thinking about all the orders I was working on and needed to ship. I tried to keep it together and went back out to the living room where I got talking with one of my friends, who I hadn’t seen for years. I started to express, in a sort of ‘thinking out loud’ kind of way, how hyper focused I had been for so long, and how I had been busier than ever in my life. The realization was huge, as if it was new to me! I woke up soon after and thought about how strange it felt to be in such a narrow, focused state for such a long time. I felt disconnected and sort of shut down. It’s not the way I’m used to feeling, and it’s not the way I ultimately want to live my life.
In the big picture, I feel super happy for where I am in my life and it’s incredibly satisfying to look back and see that where I have arrived is completely a product of my own intent and hard work. I feel grateful and excited and all the things you might feel if you were achieving something you worked really hard at. I also see that it’s time to make some some changes and refresh my intent. When you set out to do something that spans into the long term, it’s hard to know exactly what the end result will look like, and tweaks are usually necessary along the way – know what I mean? As I consider what I’d like to change, and what I’d like to take to the next level, I am starting to feel the freedom and excitement that comes with setting off on a big road trip.
Now just to get that motor running, a clear sense for where I’m going, and to pack the right things to get me there….
If you’d like to share, I’d love to know what some of you do to initiate bigger, more long term changes?